Arles

It is 2 am. I am sitting outside under the most beautiful night sky I’ve ever seen. No city lights, no noise, no pollution, just countless stars, clean air and silence.

Our train back is at around 6, so we have to be up by 4 to pack and clean out the bungalow and check out. So of course, me being me, decided not to sleep. So here I am writing my mind out.

I just haven’t had enough of this place yet; it has been some of the best weeks of my life. How much I’ve seen and learnt cannot be put into words.

To come from a city where photography is not considered art, or is something respectful, to a city where photography is everything has been the best part of this trip. This whole city is based on photography, when you walk down the street 8 out of 10 of the people you pass by are photographers, or at least have passion for photography.

Arles is a small city in France, it is the place where one of the first photographers emerged as an artist. He was the first person in the world to turn photography from something technical into art. And so this city’s roots were watered with photography and continue to be.

A week ago I got on the train with 5 girls and a guy. Tomorrow I get on a train with 6 friends I’ll never forget, no matter where life takes me.

We have learnt so much about each other and I know I’ve made friends for life.

Walking through the city, going around from one exhibition to the next I noticed I am the only Hijabi among thousands of people. And it really got me thinking. And although some people give you the ‘what the hell are you doing here’ look, most people smile widely, and it is the most heartwarming thing. I have been smiled at in the streets often, but here I noticed it more, and their smiles were different. I honestly have never been so proud of being a Hijabi as much as I was this week, I fell in love with it even more than I loved it before. Being asked about it and explaining why I wear it for people who know nothing about it reminded me of how important it is to me, and I’m thankful for that. Cause when you do something every day it turns to a habit, a routine. And I never want my Hijab to be that. I want to wear it every day and remind myself of the things that let me do so.

On a final note, I am so thankful for this opportunity. It has been beautiful in all aspects. As sad I am that it is over, as excited I am for the future.

Until the next chapter.

Belgium

Upon one of the beautiful nights, I spent in Belgium last week, my cousin and I were sitting in a restaurant waiting for Maghreb prayer to dig into the pizza that arrived a bit early and was so hot and beautiful lying on our table. A very nice Tunisian waiter we have met as we ordered came out of the restaurant door and said out loud: ‘ladies, time!’

My cousin unwrapped a plastic bag with dates inside and reached out to me offering me a piece. Two older men were sitting on the table next to us, very confused by everything going on, asked: ‘what is that in the bag?’ My cousin said it was dated, and explained that we are fasting and this is what we break our fast with.

The night went on and we kept talking to them. One seemed to be in his late 30 and the other a bit older with white hair and a white beard. They both seemed very educated, very smart. Discussions with them went beautifully, we talked about things from politics to ice cream.

Fascinated by their personalities we asked them what they worked, the younger was a clinical psychologist and the older said he was a religious man. That made sense, as he spoke I thought he must be some kind of lecturer, the way he talked and delivered the information was not like any normal person. When we got home later that night we found the older man on the web, he seems to be a very important religion man, he has a lot of writings and is quite famous. Anyway,

As the night came to an end the older man said something beautiful that I cannot recall literally, but to sum up the idea it was something like: we are just here to have a drink, we saw you two and we talked, we communicated. If the world could do that; communicate, it would be a better place. It doesn’t matter what religion you come from, all religions speak of peace, of coexisting, of communication and in the end we are all the same, humans.

It is random people like this and random situations like this that widen your eyes and expand your brain. It is people like this that make you feel like it is good in the world, and ignorance didn’t yet take over.

On a less serious note, I had extremely beautiful days with my cousin in Belgium. It is a beautiful city with people from all over the world; the variety of culture you can see in one street is quite fascinating. It is not as perfect as Germany and I loved that. Too much perfection kills the soul, I think.

The feeling of family, though, waking up to family and sleeping to family, was the best feeling after months of living alone. Setting a table for two, having someone to ask about a piece of clothing you’ve tried, chatting with someone about the shallowest and the deepest subjects, laughing with someone nonstop for minutes, all in all having a family member present in your life, actually in front of you and not on the screen of a computer is such a blessing that I think I only realized when I got deprived of.

Here is to another chapter in this little adventure of mine, a chapter now over but very beautiful and will remain beautiful in my head.

Here is to peace and here is to hope. Cause such optimistic beauty still exists.

Been A While

It's been nearly three months since I got here. And I haven't written in so long.

Waking up away from home has its heartache every morning. Dining alone has its heartache every meal. Walking alone has its heartache every step.

But being alone is the best thing that ever happened to my character.

I've discovered myself in ways I cannot form into words, I just know myself by myself now. I've discovered new limits and new horizons, I now know that whatever happens in my life I can stand tall and not let it knock me down, I've developed self-strength and self-respect I never thought I'd have. I now know what I'm worth. And that was the purpose of this journey, and I am only halfway through.

Not in a billion years did I imagine I'd ever been proud of myself, but today I can easily say that I am proud of myself.

This experience has not been easy, not for a second, even when out with friends and having fun, it doesn't get easy. But hard is beautiful. Hard makes you a beautiful person.

The best is yet to come. The upcoming couple of months are going to be so hectic and I cannot wait to go through them, cannot wait to enjoy them.

Today I am enjoying my last rest day, starting tomorrow I'd barely have time for anything, so I thought I'd just update my blog with what has been going on lately, cause this is going to be nice to read in a few years time for me. And maybe, hopefully, be nice for those of you who like to read my writings.

And here are a few photos from the past month or so.